She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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