i think my tv is drunk
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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