Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
