wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
