Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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