12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
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My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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