this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she looked like the before picture.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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