Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
