The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
