I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
