this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
