What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize