dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
