I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
