Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
