Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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