all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
