You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
