My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
