i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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