I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
