Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
