Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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