I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
