oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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