stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We got so high we made milksteak
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
