This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
