and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
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Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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