We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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