I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
