hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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