She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
