i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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