You're earring is so big in my mouth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
