i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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