i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
