He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
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you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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