porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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