i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize