do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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