On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Can you bring me the toilet please
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
