What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
