I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I AM VODKA MAN
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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