He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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