im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
