ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
