Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
