I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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