i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
