OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize