So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
