Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
