Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
