I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
