Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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