Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
