Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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