Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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