bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
