I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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