Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
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Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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