She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
