I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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