He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
