dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
