yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
